I think the only way you truly know yourself is through other people.
I’m quite shy and I wish I was someone else at times.
Someone more expressive.
Someone more exciting.
Someone loud, charismatic, and doesn’t care what people think.
Maybe the most I could hope for is to be crazy and loud. Not the good or the bad crazy. But just unapologetic crazy.
Everyone wants to be special.
Everyone wants to be different.
It takes real courage to show your true self.
And even though you might feel alone and misunderstood maybe it’d be worth it. Right?
I don’t know…
Sometimes I think the only way you get to live this life is through compromise.
Compromise your health and do those drugs.
Sure it’s not the right or the wise thing to do but maybe it’s what will make your life interesting.
And we’re always told we’re only here a short time.
You won’t end up stuck in the loop of every day trivialities of your 9-5 job and that incessant voice in your head.
I just don’t want to care so much. I want to hold on to that person I wanted to be or aspired to be when I was a kid.
Soon I’ll forget, as everyone does when they get older. Get distracted from the things they actually want to do or achieve.
At some point you get so consumed by your worries you never get to do those things you wanted to do.
I see it all the time. The dead eyed husks of human beings.
Such a sad world. Such a drag… really.
You can’t win either way can you?