Another baby

You decided to have another baby with him. I cant believe youd lean into this false narrative of a perfect family when it’s so far from perfect. You turned your back on us. On me. Your little sister, who youd raised. Are you brain washed or are you just paralyzed with fear of losing “everything”?

Are you the broken one here or am I?

Are you even hurting? Did I mean anything to you?

You meant everything to me. You were my big sister. Someone I idolized, someone I wanted to be like.

I cant believe youre having your second child with this man. Even after everything hes done to ruin this family.

Now youre trapped more than you were before. Is there any hope left…

Im not sure.

All I know is I’m so hurt.

So tired of this aching heart and this feeling of loss, like you’ve died.

You were someone I thought I could count on.

Now I just have trust issues. I’m broken really, left waiting for you to change.

Not sure that day will ever come.

I guess I’ll just continue to self destruct, not that you care.

You dont even ask Mom how I am or doing.

It’s pretty clear.

And you know, I dont cry so hard anymore.

I’ve become numb, closing up and putting my guard up.

I’ll just drown my sorrows in liquor. It’s what I’m destined for anyways right.

I see pictures of your daughter. She looks so happy and seems so smart.

I’m happy for you as weird as it sounds. I do want the best for you.

I guess I just wont be apart of that. Even though you are wrong for what youre doing whether you acknowledge it or not, I still think you derseve happiness. And if this is what happiness is for you, I’ll swallow the knot in my throat and let it be.

Youll just become someone I used to know.

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